Today is my Mum and Niece's birthday and while they were waking up to hopefully a sunny day and trip to the Zoo, I was waking up to another sodden morning and a trip to Zambia.
Last night it chucked it down again but I was perfect, snuggled up in my cocoon. I had bought a baguette and some cold meat yesterday which I slept with to prevent it from getting wet or eaten by ants. It worked out really well as my tiny tent now smells like a bakery instead of an old shoe. The big breakfast put me majorly behind schedule and so did cleaning Nigel. Today was a hundred miler day so ideally i needed to be cycling by 8 at the latest but I had to clean Nigel, because of the rain he was filthy.
Over the last week or so I've noticed some green in the bottom of my water bottle as well. This green has started to grow recently and so I thought it was best I gave the bottle a clean out too. I took the bottle into the lodge's kitchen and asked for some soap. Here's where I made a terrible error and ended up putting clothes powder in my bottle, its all they gave me!!! It cleaned the bottle very well but also destroyed the taste of the fresh water I put in it after. It tasted like drinking Ariel clean clothes.
After my cleaning session was complete, the three of us were ready to say goodbye to Malawi and hello to Zambia. It was a good ride, I still had about 70 miles to do in Malawi before I got to the border and then it was around 20 to Chipata. The locals stayed true to form and shouted and called at me from all areas off the main road but the hills kept me focused and I powered through to the border just as I was finding the end of my tether. It lasted a bit longer today, probably because I knew that Malawi would be in the past very soon.
I got to the border relieved and still feeling physically strong. The thought of another new country and a fresh start was very exciting and I was like a new man the second I rolled onto Zambian ground. First impressions of Zambia were of the black storm clouds that loomed over the hills in the distance. I knew I would be hitting them head on, I just hoped I would be tucked up in a Guest House in Chipata before they got to me!
I had about half an hour of dry Zambian weather before things turned very dark and ominous. I was cycling alongside a man dressed in a suit at the time the first spots hit. I stopped and got my handlebar rain cover out to protect my expensive stuff, he bolted to the nearest shelter, I guess he knew what was coming. It took about three 3 minutes for the storm clouds to take over and unleash absolute fury. Visibility was at 50m, everything turned grey and I was soaked to the bone. There was absolutely no point in stopping, I had no idea how long the storm would last and I was only an hour or so from Chipata if I maintained my good time.
As I continued cycling it was becoming more apparent that this storm wasn't going to blow over. The road started to flood, huge rivers of trademark red African mud started flowing across and along the main road and I was dicing with death as I risked cycling through the puddles not knowing what was underneath the water. I knew I wasn't far from Chipata so I hesitantly carried on. The storm wasn't letting up at all, Lightning flashed down in front of me and then thunder cracked right above my head which vibrated straight through me and echoed across the land. Mmm probably shouldn't be cycling through this I thought but the adrenaline was really pumping so I carried on.
The road had completely changed as the muddy rivers took over, like blood running through the villages. At some points I was cycling with both feet half submerged in the red water so I followed closely behind the few slow moving cars to ensure there were no rogue potholes. I stopped at the first place I could find on the outskirts of Chipata. The place looked decent, play area and pool etc, like a Zambian Centerparcs!
I stopped in the reception area to briefly dry off as it still hammered it down outside. One of the staff showed me to a room and said the cost was 250 Zambian kwacha. I was yet to get any kwacha but I checked the currency converter on my phone. Hang about, that's 25p a night, that can't be right. I've had a room for a quid in Ethiopia but there's no way this is 25p, it was twice the size of my room back home!
I made myself very clear and direct with the guy, "do you mean 250,000 and not 250." In Malawi they would say different things like 2.5 or 20 and a half, which I knew had to be the case here. It was the case, it wasn't the guy's fault though, it was my currency converter that needed to be changed and so I kindly rejected the £25 a night room seeing as I was only going to be staying the night.
The downside to this cafuffel was now I had stopped cycling, I was still soaked and very cold and head to face the storm for a second time. I got back out there and didn't have to cycle far to get to the town centre thankfully. The second place I found was completely derelict, no staff at all and so it was Pineview Lodge that I finally stopped at. Typically it was fully booked. For some reason there was a three day seminar going on from Saturday to Monday (strange choice of days if you ask me) and so all the rooms were taken but I could still camp. Not ideal at all I know but I really couldn't be bothered to find anywhere else and decided to sit out the storm and put the tent up when it stopped raining.
The two women at reception were good to talk to so I got changed into some dry clothes and sat at reception and ate chicken and rice while I waited for the rain to stop...it didn't. (I know, eating at reception as well, only in Africa can you eat at the reception table because not for the first time, the "restaurant" is hosting a seminar) It was starting to get dark so I just had to bite the bullet and put the tent up in the rain. I found a half decent place underneath a tree and put the tent up like someone that's been doing it almost everyday for 7 months. With camp set as night fell, I had a pitch black walk into the town centre to get money out from the ATM.
The rain had lightened into just spitting but it had created a deep red muddy swamp of a place to walk through. I will now dub my footwear "flick-flops" as that's what they did the whole way. As i walked, my "flick-flops" sprayed the coarse gritty sand all up the back of my legs and all the way up to my neck. I was cold, wet, in darkness, in a new country and absolutely covered in mud. Was I enjoying myself? I was actually! Things got even messier when i lost one of my "flick-flops" in a hole of thick mud and then continued to walk barefoot into the same thick sludge. I then had to plunge my arm in to retrieve my "flick-flop" much to the delight of the people that I was walking along with at the time.
I eventually got money out and walked around the supermarket looking (and smelling) like Stig of the Dump but I thought it would work in my favour considering I had a fair bit of money on me and didn't really want anybody to come close! The walk back was brisk to say the least. I tried to go undercover and pull my long sleeves down to cover my arms but unfortunately Beirdre hasn't completely covered my face so I did grab the attention of one beggar. What else could make this whole situation worse do you think? I'll tell you what made the walk back worse, not the fact that the beggar would not give up A. Talking a language I had no clue about. B. Pointing at everything i had and i assume asking for it but C. My increasingly large urge for the toilet. It seemed the chicken had gone straight through me and i was fully prepared to drop trousers in a bush in front of the man who wouldn't leave me alone. It was either that or just poo myself as i was covered in mud anyway, i was pretty sure no one would notice. In the end I put my "nunchuk look" on and told the guy very directly where to go, then I waddled back to the lodge taking a B-line through quite a sharp bush (i cut my legs in the process) but i got to the toilet with literally no time to spare.
Mission complete. The toilet conveniently had a shower so I washed myself down before heading to the bar to watch the footy and enjoy a well-earned apple flavoured water.
I only watched one half before going back to my tent to sleep. Zambia, country number 20 and the messiest start to a country this ride has seen but its great to be here!
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