Dam, not again!!!

Monday 28th October

Today I decided to do something I haven't done in a while, go for a bike ride!!!

I had planned to go to see Aswan Dam, it was only about 12 miles from my hotel. I stripped Nigel naked and in doing so I noticed that my rear rack had broken yet again!!! This one had only lasted Egypt!! It's broken at the same place on both sides. It's not major, but still annoying, At least I had a while in Aswan to have a look in their bike shops or just fix it myself. I knew it couldn't be welded but I've got a fair few attachments that can be used to ensure the break doesn't escalate to other breaks.

I cast the rack out of mind for a bit and set off for the Dam. It felt so easy riding without all the baggage and it was also good to have a reccy to see if there were possible camping areas nearer to the docks (there weren't really). It didn't take long to reach low dam. There are two dams that work together to produce a huge amount of hydroelectricity. I don't know the ins and outs I just wanted a fancy picture. The Army were heavily controlling all the roads around both dams and I wasn't allowed to take pictures, they probably thought I was on an extremely low key scouting mission! I had a nice smile and a wave though as I crossed the low dam for the first time from the Army, which is normally the case. 

I got to high dam and I have to say it was an absolutely massive anti climax. I was expecting a big dam like the one James Bond threw himself off so I could take an amazing picture of the surrounding landscape. Instead I got a big security fence and a tiny glimpse of a tiny dam. I went for a nosey around just because I like exploring. I had to cut that short because its a fact that you can't just go for a bike ride without the locals asking you where you're going. Today it happened to me three times and its happened many times before. These areas were not even army protected or restricted areas they were just roads but everybody I passed tried to tell me where to go!

I think there's some conspiracy. The Egyptians have found tons more gold and treasures from the past and they're using this down period in tourism to share it out with locals but all of a sudden some crazy lone white guy has rocked up to spoil the party!  I cannot go anywhere without somebody asking me where I'm going or what I'm doing, it's not an overreaction it's honestly really annoying, it feels like the Truman Show. In the same way the kids can't seem to keep their hands to themselves and on three occasions today either myself or Nigel was grabbed. I really wanted to give them a knock around but they have their own issues in life to sort out and I'm not here to start more fights. The police lineup wouldn't take long either, I would be up against a chalk statue, white lamp post and some feta cheese.

After cutting my bike ride short because I was getting fed up with a lack of peace and quiet I returned back to the low dam. The army stopped me, apparently I was unable to cycle across the dam. I told them I had just waved and smiled at them an hour ago on my way over! Now all of a sudden I can't cycle over a dam that is about 600m long. I've cycled 4000miles to be here but no, fair enough, ill jump in the back of your van so you can take me back across the dam I have just cycled over!

Now i haven't been here long but I've noticed a few things that it doesn't take a rocket scientist to notice, that could be changed slightly to ensure a little more safety on the streets. Here are just some law enforcements that the Army could help with:

The road has two lanes for example, maybe it would be a good idea if the cars stayed on the correct side of the road and didn't just drive towards head on traffic at a slower speed when they felt like it. Call me crazy, but it seems in other countries the whole two lane thing and keeping to them, has worked pretty well!

Traffic lights, they work better when they're switched on.

The seat belt road sign. It's great having the sign up there but unless the 5 door fiats that speed around are fitted with 12 seat belts then something tells me that not everyone that's crammed in there is wearing their seatbelt. The kid laying on the dashboard could be a start.

At night when you see one headlight, understand its not always a motorbike and this could be dangerous if people crossing the road think it's just a motorbike. In saying that, seeing a vehicle with just one light is a miracle. You're more likely to see the light from the phone that's stuck to the driver's ear or from their lighter lighting a cigarette before you see any headlights. You may get lucky and see a really colourful car. They also like to re-wire their vehicles in the dark so they play music when you turn the key, or the indicators flash blue and red etc. My favourite was the Tuktuk that played music when it braked, no lights but you could enjoy the sounds of "Bingo was his name-o" as you smashed up his backside!

The no beeping road sign, waste of metal and labour.

Pedestrian crossings...no, didn't think so.

I'm not annoyed about the pointless ride in the back of the truck as I actually quite enjoyed it. It just embarrassed the Army and it frightens me for the sake of the Egyptian people that they are putting one man cycling over a 600m long dam at the top of their list of priorities when there are people dying in areas all over the country every week due to their revolution. 

While I'm on the subject of noticing things I may as well carry on because my day was pretty quiet. These maybe things that have made me chuckle, annoyed me or things I've just thought...why?

The attire gets me for a start. I checked with the Salah family first before I decided to comment on this. The long gowns that are so common with 99% of the male population I have been told are not for religious reason which begs the question, why wear them? Saleem told me it was comfy and I'm not going to lie they do look comfy but in 30 degree heat? They're hardly the most practical item of clothing when you're tirelessly digging away in the fields or on your back underneath a car. Just think of how filthy the hems get and that's just from the dust off the road! I wouldn't mind one for dossing around the house in like an airy onesie. I couldn't find a red and black striped one though.

Sandles! I personally hate the things but I can appreciate that they can be comfortable and practical in hot weather. As a football coach though I am looking at sporting potential and it is a scientific fact that its impossible to run in sandals let alone kick a football! When you combine the sandals with the long gowns then there is no wonder there is very little sport played in the schools that I've cycled through, you may as well stick them all in sleeping bags!

I am looking at the attire from a purely practical day to day wear/sporting background and this is meant in no way to be derogatory. I'm just saying, if someone decided to rob me and I'm wearing a gown and sandals then I would have no chance unless they were wearing a sack, then you've got yourself a race!

A lot of my day is taken up with bargaining. It's not uncommon to go back to a shop 3 times and be charged 3 different prices for the same thing. I understand the white man has to pay extra, that's just the way it is. This is not fair, this is not what happens in England, this is prejudice but if I'm going start that off then I probably shouldn't of chosen to cycle through Africa.

I do however enjoy catching them out by asking different questions to the regular touristic "how much is this?" Expect that the Egyptians charge you over double what they would accept. For example, in Luxor the first time I went up to somebody and asked him directly "how much for an hour in a felucca?" He delayed, they always delay slightly to think of a price, probably relating to where you're from as this is always their first question. He gave me his best price of 60 Egyptian pound. Two days later I approached a guy and didn't ask, just told him. I have 20 Egyptian pound, that's it. He said ok then.

If you guess a low price instead of asking them how much something is then that works too. Knowing the numbers in Arabic has helped me even more as well. "Hamza?" (5) and they either say "nooo...... 8" or they say "ok" You know its still probably 3 for the locals but if you got it 3 pound cheaper then thats always good fun. Go back next time and say "albar?" (4) The delay is always an obvious sign they're picking a value out of the air. I've caught them off guard a few times when I've guessed the correct local price and they've said "ok, I mean no" aaaaaahhh you said ok first I'm afraid. Some shop keepers like a laugh and others don't. The one constant is, the house always wins. 

One thing they do that can either make you laugh or really annoy you is you could be stuffing your face with food, have bags of food in your hands and pushing a shopping trolley, the man at the chicken stand will still offer you a chicken. You could be wearing a rug have two rolled up under each arm but the rug seller will still offer you a rug! They are tireless and unfazed. My favourite is the taxi man or horse and cart that pulls up beside me as I'm sat on Nigel. 

"Want a ride?" 

"No thanks I am sat on a bike"

"come on just one hour"

"no thanks I'm on a bike"

"5 pound for one hour, good price"

"sorry, didn't you hear or see me? IM ON A BIKE!"

"Where you from?"

"England"

"Ah England, I love England, good people"

"Thank you"

"Want a ride?"

(Say nothing, shake of the head)

"ok then 2 pound."

This is a shortened version believe it or not of a typical conversation that I've had on many occasions. It's funny to read now but after the 5th time you just end up having to be rude and ignoring them or you get very annoyed.

By the time I got back from my ride, had a shower, kind of sorted Nigel and chilled out it was time for dinner. Adel knew where the bike shops were so I will check them out tomorrow and see if they have a strong looking rear rack, if not then I will just keep what I have.

I went for a cheap dinner as I had a disappointing KFC for lunch and was insulted by the size of wing that they tried to get away with giving me. "Always" put bigger wings on their panty liners then i had on my tray. The colonel has let me down twice in Egypt now and I'm beginning to lose faith.

I ended up with a vegetarian meal and a movie then bed. 2 Falafel pittas, 4 pitta breads, packet of crisps and some dairylea triangles for £1.20 English, that'll do nicely. 

Get your slippers...you've stalled

Sunday 27th October

After breakfast I waited for the Hotel Manager Adel in the reception at half 10. He had offered to come with me to the embassy an help things run smoothly. The embassy was just a 5 minute walk from the hotel but I had spoken to someone yesterday who m roomed it being a bit further out of town as the offices had moved about 3 months ago. I mentioned this to Adel as we began walking and he stopped dead in the middle of the road, "yeeeeeeeees! It's moved!" He said. His head turned to me as we stood with cars beeping their way around us, "do you know where it is?" I laughed! "No, you're meant to be the one that knows about this stuff" Adel is a funny guy and knows a lot of people, it didn't take long until we found out where it was but in doing so we also established that the boat leaves every Sunday. Therefore, whatever the situation with the visa, I was going to have o wait at least a week so I best get looking for a stall that sells slippers!

We got a cab to the new place and Adel chatted a bit and I filled out a form. The computer was broken so it was going to take at least three days to process my visa. Seeing as the ferry didn't leave for another week all this was not a real issue providing my visa takes no longer than a week. I told Adel I would stay longer in his hotel. He's been so good in helping me out its really the least I can do and I can't be bothered to chop and change hotels just to save £4 a night. 

As I embrace the fact that I'm going to be around for a little longer I get to thinking what shall I do? I've saved the dam so will cycle there tomorrow as its only a couple of miles away. Other than that, there's not really much else I want to do so may wait for a brainwave or have a look on the Internet for some hidden treasures.

The rest of the day was another football day. Trying to keep the spending down with food is fairly easy as falafel here is about 50p and Koshary (the first dish i had with Ahmed in Cairo) ranges between 30-60p. My weakness is when the Colonel starts calling me and I spotted him situated just down the Nile from McDonalds.

I stayed in the hotel to watch the football. The reception area is like a lounge with TV and wifi and with absolutely nobody around, for 90 minutes or so I was at home doing what I normally do on a Sunday. I skyped my parents and it was then that I realised that times like these are the most relaxed I would feel for a long time. 

The ride is so relentless there is literally no time to get away. I'm in a hotel and its quiet but still, all around me is the mayhem of Africa just waiting for me to walk through it again. It's almost as if I have to psych myself up before exiting the hotel as I know the inevitable wave of offers and greetings will follow. It hasn't taken long for people to recognise me and remember my name. A man shouted out Chris today and I haven't even sat in his restaurant before! Word obviously gets around fast.

A Saturday for the senses

Saturday 26th October

I had the intentions of going to the Sudanese Embassy today to get my visa sorted. This was quickly dashed when I discovered the embassy was not open on Saturdays. I didn't mind, I was quite looking forward to a day of doing nothing as my life as been pretty hectic recently.

Aswan isn't that big but there are a few things to see. I like to walk around a town first to get a feel for it so I never book trips or take taxi rides straight away. Cycle touring enables you to get a feel before you've checked into your hotel as well because you've taken the hours leading up to arrival to see, feel, smell and breathe in your surroundings. I went for a walk and left Nigel safe at the hotel as I've done everywhere I've been. As I've said before, when you're alone you are aware of and you recognise more things than you would do if you were wandering along with a group or another person. After spending more and more time in Africa I am less shocked by things I see and expect certain reactions and expressions too when I walk past. Staring is a common initial response, Beirdre is a subject that has been mentioned by some strangers as I've noticed them stroking their naked chins when talking to each other as they've past me. (Must be jealousy) An overreacted shout in my ear with childish laugh to follow is also a common thing to have to put up with. Egyptians have no concept of how loud they are. Im a loud person but when I'm relaxed and walking around the streets all I want is an equally relaxed "hello" or "hi" but instead you get an exaggerated assault on the ears that if you did in front of your mates when you were 7, your mum would tell you off for "showing off"

As I walked along the Nile where the "faluka people" hang out I was prepared for a wave of offers as they clocked me and all seemed to jump to attention from their resting spot against the wall. Knowing this, I got in there first. One guy had just cut short his conversation with a group of his buddies to approach me and give me the best price of the day no doubt, I got to him first. I bounded up to him with hand out ready for a good firm shake, "you're back!!! Good to see you again, sorry I can't ride in your boat today, I'm off to the shops. See you later." As I said this the look on his face was priceless.

I left him speechless with mouth open wide and hand still out. I walked on with a smile and a ripple of laughter from his friends in my wake. I was really enjoying myself today.

I decided to get the public ferry over to Elephantine Island. I payed for the boat, (which was free) and jumped on at the front readying myself for some good pics. One lady to politely said to me, "this is where the women sit, the men go at the back" what? No way! I love going to front on any seafaring vessel I step foot on, boats, cruise ships, log flumes, I'm always at the front! Not today I'm afraid, I had to sit at the back with the men and the bad view!

Elephantine is a very small island in the Nile with a Nubian village at one end and a luxury hotel at the other. I have never seen anything like it. The village was made up of intricate walkways cut in between a combination of mud brick huts, brick buildings and farming sheds. It was fascinating and I loved every minute of it. As I walked around I was completely left alone by the locals. I don't think they were used to a lonely white man walking through their village and still, there was no begging, no staring, they just got in with life. 

The kids ran around me as if I wasn't there, the boys shooting the girls with guns made from sticks and others playing hide and seek. I was in yet another world but this world was strangely merely metres across the water from the town of Aswan. I have previously thought that some of the places I've been to have been places of no dreams, one can look at them with sorrow and pity. Here could've been one of those places but I didn't feel like that. The children were happy and laughing - not trailing after the white man in the hope of a couple of quid. The people were hard working and cleaning and goin about their daily routine, not interested in showing off! Here was not a town of no dreams, just different ones and it was an absolute privilege and honour to be allowed to walk around it.

I got back on the ferry over to the mainland. I was happy with my experience and I didn't want to spend the whole day exhausted as I had done so on previous "days off." I walked towards a bar where I knew showed football and with Al Jazeera TV I knew I could get three games back to back! 

As I walked along the street I was followed by a boy selling newspapers. I had clocked him about 30 seconds previously riding on a horse and cart as he was staring at me. My senses heightened and set in Africa mode I noticed he was following very closely and trying to sell me a newspaper that was all in Arabic. "Just £5, just £5" he said, then BAM! I judo chopped his wondering hand that had briefly place on my back pocket from underneath the newspapers. Nice try kiddo but you're lucky you only got a chopping, the police were just metres down the road but he stopped walking before things got too far to warrant a stern ticking off. Whether that would've happened or not I don't know, I just carried on to the bar.

I sat in the bar initially alone but attracted attention from the odd individual that came and went. I chatted to a lot of people but a few were worth a mention. Mustapha the first, he sat down next to me, we had a chat, he got me a drink and some burgers and then left. I did not ask for them in the first place and he wanted nothing in return. Then during the second game which was Man United, two others sat next to me and ask me a lot of questions throughout. I was happy with the win and one of them suggested I should buy everyone a drink. It's hard being a poor English man in Egypt because they assume you have ridiculous amounts of money. Yes, the exchange rate is good but I'm not Richard Branson. I payed Mustapha's kind gesture forward and got the two guys that I had chatted to a drink. Not the 30 others that had arrived for the Real Madrid - Barcelona match.

I sat and watched the Barca game as well. My original position of being sat alone watching Arsenal in front of the t.v had gradually throughout the day became a front row seat for the "El Classico" in front of now a huge crowd of Egyptians. Lots of people poked "the English one" an asked him questions throughout the game about what he was doing there, what football teams he liked etc. Mustapha came and sat back next to me and I couldn't force him to have a drink. He was yet another genuinely kind man that I can add to my growing list whereas the guy that suggested I should buy everyone a drink just because I was English and United had scraped a terrible victory was more of a stereotyping presumer, I can add him to a growing list also.

When the football finished I grabbed some food and still caught the end of the Saints game. I had had a good chilled out day for once where I felt comfortable despite being a Tic-Tac in a family box of Maltesers. 

Tomorrow I will go to the embassy. What happens there decides what I do for the next week. It could be one week twiddling my thumbs waiting for the boat or hello Sudan!!!

Happy as wan

Friday 25th October

It took me a while to get to sleep due to a mosquito trying to bite my face and my previous bites were starting itch. Eventually I did and I woke up after Salem who had closed the door to give me some extra rest and had his breakfast by the time I woke up at 7.

Friday is the start of their weekend so I could hear the kids playing football just outside the house. Within 10 minutes of me waking I ha a massive breakfast of bread, boiled eggs, tea and two pots of yoghurt along with a bowl of what tastes like crumbled up cheesecake base which you add to the yoghurt. The result, a taste sensation that would start me off in a great mood for a days riding.

I said my huge thankyous, had a few photos and Saleem walked me to the road. I really can't describe fully the way he presented himself as just such a caring and selfless man. I have met nobody like Saleem and it was an absolute privilege to stay in his house.

As I headed back towards Idfu to check out another temple that I missed yesterday and then cross the nile to a recommended route to Aswan, I caught myself thinking negatively about more possible unwanted events. Can't fight it, I knew this. Can't stop it, I knew this. I can expect it more but I can't let it change my mood so much like yesterday. I can also learn from what happened yesterday and as I learnt with "tourist team" in Luxor, embrace it, this is why I'm here!

I crossed the Nile where the road was much quieter but much more bumpy. There were less people around as it was more farming related on this side and after a good two hours of happy smiling faces and feel good thumbs up i had convinced myself that yesterday was just the west side kids. (They must've put something in their water!)

Then sure enough, another idiot passenger on a motorbike grabbed me again. Don't let it get to you Harding, its been a good day, I could use what I learnt yesterday to look past the minority and enjoy the beautiful weather and the amazing scenery. I saw the two guys further up the road, they saw me and were still having a laugh. I stopped my bike and looked at them from across the road. They came up to me and as I believe and as I have done from the start I gave a smile to receive a smile. With actions and expressions I think I got the message across that pulling cyclists was not a good thing to do and the thumbs up and nods of understanding were better than yesterday's swinging flap at the bike. Embracing 1 - fighting 0. I thanked them and cycled away happy with my reaction this time and it helped the positivity of the day flow to the next group of waving and smiling people.

I was on a bit of a buzz and the singing even came back in to my ride. This time the cows and donkeys and very lucky farmers were treated to Uptown girl as I flew past their fields. I could see a similar group of kids to what i passed many times yesterday in the distance and they spotted me too. Here we go I thought, what joys are awaiting for me this time. Instead of getting ready to swerve a stick, deny giving money or have to look back and clock a piece of food heading for me (incidentally, yesterday was a huge waste of a tomato as Egyptian tomatoes are my favourite, they're so red and juicy!) I embraced and counteracted anything they were thinking about doing with a huge shout of "HEEELLLOOOO" as I did this I held out my right arm with a big hand open and in an instant they were loving it and all got into a long line of around 15 of them and high fived the lot of them all the way down.

They loved it, I loved it, Nigel loved it and even Beirdre stood up on end to enjoy the "African wave." Embracing 2 - fighting 0 and with that I beamed my way to Aswan with no stops. 

Ahmed in Luxor recommended a hotel called the "paradise hotel." It took me about 2 minutes to find and then an extra 2 minutes to speak to the General manager Adel and sort out getting my visa and boat ticket for Sudan tomorrow. Amazing!! I know the ferry to Sudan only runs once a week so I may be hanging around but I will find out all the major details tomorrow as the port times are always changing. I have a contact that I can stay with a little out of town from Ahmed in Cairo of needs be but for now I will chill out and enjoy Aswan. It seems a lot more relaxed, much less busier, less noisy and very safe to walk around.

Today proved that yesterday was probably a one off with regards to the amount of separate incidents but also allowed me to embrace a different attitude. I could've easily got annoyed again when i was grabbed but I'm more positive than ever now. Hopefully getting my documents sorted tomorrow will be as smooth as getting my hotel today.

I have a good confident feeling about Adel so I'm sure it will be good and then I can say thankyou to Egypt for an unforgettable experience. If I'm honest, I'm more exhausted after finishing Egypt then I was the whole of Europe! But I'm not getting ahead of myself, not in Sudan yet....

Afri-can only believe it if you see it!

Thursday 24th October

When I'm riding I find myself experiencing new things, new places and new people then thinking, how am I going to explain this in the blog that makes its enjoyable to read and not just a boring timeline of events. Whether riding to blog or blogging to ride takes any more true experiences away from me I don't know. I know one thing though, today's blog focus changed about 6 or 7 times and i could never ever prepare myself for or say that I've had less of an experience than possible, as for me today was most definitely not for the faint hearted. So I'm going to give you a "boring" timeline of events and see if you understand what I'm jabbering on about!

The day started with myself feeling very low to be honest. I couldn't be bothered to sort Nigel out, I didn't want to leave my pad of room number 101 where I had comfortably vedged out and watched some movies in for the last two nights. (don't worry I did leave the room to make the most of Luxor, the movies were on late at night but they weren't "late night" movies which I'm sure some of you are thinking) and I had to really motivate myself to get going. The driving force behind my motivation was beautifully clean socks and clothes. My mind and the majority of my body were not feeling it today but at least my feet felt amazing and they didn't start the day in sandy, cardboard socks like they normally do. (Sometimes they're still damp from the previous days sweat aswell!) I tried to channel the good vibes up my body from my feet to get me going and after another rooftop breakfast, I gave Nigel a decent clean and oil and leisurely packed my bags ready to go.

I said goodbye to Barbara at reception and tried to set out with the same mindset as I ended the day on yesterday. My map is now the Nile, follow that the right way and I will end up at my destination. Follow it the wrong way and it won't take long before I can hear the noise of Cairo and sense the "pyramid people" coming for me again! The ride was good, dusty and noisy but its what I have got used to over the last week or so and I was going through phases of happy smiling waves to energy saving ones. 

The first intended stop was going to be for lunch in Isna. Ahmed mentioned there was a temple in Isna that I should just take a picture of and then I could continue to my final destination of Idfu. The road was good and I made good ground. Today would be the most extreme day for roadside experiences though. The first put me in a bad mood, an idiot passenger on a motorcyclist thought it would be funny to grab my arm as they went past. It wasn't hard and it didn't really move me off course but it was a shock and annoying and when they stopped further down the road, and I did not stop to receive what could've possibly been an apology from him or another grab, he flapped out at Nigel and hit my bag. This put me in a bit of a bad mood but then you get the nice thumbs up that puts you in a good mood again. Frustratingly for me however, no matter how much you always try and forget about the minority, it still sticks in your mind.

After this I had the motorbike that followed alongside me just having a chat at first which inevitably turned to wanting money. Ive got used to the kids asking for money (i don't like it but I've got used to it) They lasted around 5 minutes that I could've done without as I thought seeing as they were around 16yrs old they would've grown out of the begging phase. Looking at it from an outsider's point of view as well, who needs the money? The guy on the motorbike in a clean polo shirt with jeans, or the grub on the push bike wearing a layer of dust and no undies! After that I may get the dancing pedestrians and the big smiles that are amazed to see you which puts the smile back on my face. 

For some reason today, I experienced the most diverse events and people than I have ever done in the whole trip. Was I experiencing the real Egypt now? Or was this just a one off day?

The up and downs continued when I stopped for lunch. I had the kids begging in my face along with the ones tinkering with my bike as i sat next to it, combined with the kind gesture of an offering of a seat from a shopowner along with the kids getting told off by another man for tinkering with my bike. I had the nice tarmacked road that led me to the horrible sandy one, the shops that led to flats, the flats that led to the slums and the slums that led to the beautiful fields. I had the man on the bike offering me dinner with his family whilst a kid tried to open one of Nigel's bags. I had a road filled with kids playing football that led to a road filled with kids playing kill the cyclist. I had the kid with a stick that almost clothes lined me followed by the lonely child with the best smile in the world absolutely in awe of me. I had the childish adult playing "chicken" with me in his car followed by the responsible teenager stopping his donkey for me. I had the long distance call of encouragement followed by the close up look of disgust. I had kicks and grabs on Nigel turn into high fives and handshakes. I had so many reasons to question why I'm even doing this ride, smoothed over by so many answers. 

I felt the furthest from home I ever felt and the most out of depth by far but that is the point of this ride so you could say the ride had eventually begun. 

I had all these emotions and I was trying to work out what was going on? Was this just a completely abnormal day or was I going to have to handle this everyday?! Could I handle this everyday?

I've had my history lesson of Egypt, now i was having my present lesson and I really had no idea when or where it was going to end.

Things started to thicken as the day came to an end. It began by a few mischievous kids causing a bit of motor mayhem. You know the saying dont you, give a mischievous 8yr old some sandles and he can be mischievous at a maximum of 3mph but put him in a tuktuk and he can be a right little so and so at upto 30mph and until his petrol runs out. Well I unfortunately I experienced  not one but two 8 year olds driving tuktuks, yes you heard me, in charge of a motor vehicle at the age of 8 and following me for a good 5 miles constantly asking for money and at one point, employing the police box technique!!!

What do you do? I was quite annoyed  that during the boxing in process where I almost got pushed into the Nile, I had to also swerve around a massive dead lizard and I wanted to take a picture of it but I had two children of the corn to deal with at the time. This must just be a rough town, like cycling through Glasgow I thought. The adults are generally very strict and any shenanigans that occurred with them present and the kids were soon put in their place but there were no adults around. It was like the film "Chuckie" meets Robot Wars but they eventually got the hint or got bored and left me to continue cycling into yet more diversity.

It was getting dark and I was heading into Idfu. Come on then Harding, what's your plan this time? The roller coaster of the day had left me exhausted and fed up but craving a good area to ponder on the day's events. No nice bed and hotel waiting for me tonight though was there and as I sat in traffic I knew it was going to be a long ride to get to anywhere that was even close to being remote, and that was a gamble  if such a place existed! I pondered getting the lights out and going for a longer ride, then I thought about mosques, I know a few people that said they were the best for safe places to stay the night. The police were a possibility, could I pitch up near them? Then I questioned my ride and what I set out to do exactly. Was I cowering after what was probably just one of those days where the bad points overshadowed the good points! Was my confidence and belief in the kindest of strangers weakening due to a few pesky kids? I couldn't be sure but what I maintained were my instincts, fair enough my instincts had led me to where I was in the first place but I looked to the heavens as I have done so many times on this ride and just asked for a sign or a decent hunch, something that I could follow. 

Shortly after this a tomato flew just past my head from the hand of another kid, this time on the back of a truck. Why were there so many naughty kids today? It was wearing me down. The attempted drive by fruiting wasn't really the sign I was after either but I kept going through Idfu and into a neighbouring village. I could see a lot of children with books and more genuine smiles than sinister ones. This feels better I thought, the school was just kicking out and I past it by about 10metres before slamming on the brakes with a positive sensation at the last minute. The school was walled and gated and before I even got back to the gate, I had kids calling teachers and beckoning me in to sit down on a bench in the playground. Not two minutes had past and I had found myself surrounded by about 6 adults, 25 children that had walked back to greet me, a bottle of fanta in one hand and a twinky in the other.

The headmaster came out to greet me and the benches I was sat on were layed out for a village parents meeting. Before I could even hint at the possibility of sleeping in the playground, a parent had already offered me his house for the night. Salem was the first person that sat me down and is a geologist whose son, Sheib, goes to the school. He spoke enough English to explain a lot of things to me and we had to leave the school as the meeting was about to start so I followed him a few hundred metres back to his house (he jumped on the back of a van)

Salem and his wife have 3 sons and 3 daughters. All the daughters have moved out but Sheib 13, Mahmoud 25 and Mohammed 27 still lived at home. His house was fascinating. Lovely and cool, big, and obviously unlike anywhere i have ever been before. There was plenty of room for Nigel in the hall and he took me outside the house to sit on a bench just 200m from the nile to talk. His house was surrounded on all sides by his family. He had uncles, aunties, brothers and cousins all over the place. Everybody seemed to know everybody else in this village anyway but it made it even better that these guys were all family.

As I sat on the bench Salem got a call from a friend and he had to leave but his son Mahmoud would stay and chat with me whilst the mother cooked dinner. Mahmoud was great to speak to, by no means fluent but I learnt some more Arabic words and more importantly about how he lives his life, his beliefs and what he and his family all do etc. 

He was just as interested in my life so we chatted for hours before dinner was ready. We went back inside as I was getting eaten alive by mozzies. Dinner was then brought in by his younger brother on the biggest platter you've ever seen. There was sheep, rice, bread, salad, cheese and two Egyptian dishes that I forget the names of (a black eyed pea based one and one made from a certain type of bread and juices from the meat)

The Sheep aka mutton, which I thought was generally quite a tough meat to eat was absolutely melt in your mouth unreal! Along with whatever spices they had put on it I couldn't get enough of it and Mahmoud was more than happy to fill me up!

Together we pretty much finished all the food, in England it would've probably been a big meal for four at a restaurant. After dinner, Sheib wanted to improve on his English ( I could tell he was very mature for his age and it turns out he's in all top sets) I read him a section from his English book "journey to the centre of the earth" rather ironic i thought as I was at least heading to the equator!

I talked some more with Mahmoud but I was really exhausted and he could tell, so he left the living room and sad good night and I got comfy on their sofa. An hour or so past and Saleem arrived home. He had played peace keeper with his friends and he seemed really disappointed that I was trying to sleep already.

He had told his mates he would bring me to play dominoes down the road outside his local cafe. The man has been amazing I thought, the least I could do was go down there, I'm never going to get this chance again! I got ready for the outside bitefest with a long sleeve t-shirt and trousers and walked with Salem down to meet his domino buddy's.

He bought me a tea and the first game we sat and watched and then Salem played but I just enjoyed watching. They played 151 in teams of 2. They seemed to understand my joking advice on showing your teammate what tiles you had under the table. They had a good old laugh at that and I was turning into a right star which I was pleased about. Salem is clearly a very respected man by the way he acted and by how his friends welcomed him in. I knew I was in very safe hands as he linked my arm to pull me from the road every time a car drove past. I've mentioned before that I've noticed how the men link arms and now I was being treated like a son within just hours of cycling into his life.

When we got back to the house Salem slept on the other sofa next to me. I don't know whether he normally does that or it was because I was there, I should've asked, either way it seemed he would do anything to make me feel safe. When you meet a family like his and a man like him its hard to describe how you feel. I will never ever forget them though.

When I think about the day and I think about the change in emotions from utterly fed up and alone to being a 4th son in a family I have just met, its fair to say that no blog can really do it justice and emulate every detail. 

The experience was priceless. The lessons I have learnt from my reactions to the good and bad events are priceless. The events themselves will probably not be one offs but for all of it to happen in one day, I think it will go down as one of the most diverse days I will ever live!

All i can say is, This is Africa!

Big embrace, no grumpy face

Wednesday 23rd October

Not only do I get a room with a large en suite and terrace area with additional cats but I also get breakfast on a rooftop terrace. 

Today started well, breakfast alone on the roof turned out to be the calm before the unexpected storm of being pretty much the only tourist in an increasingly desperate for tourists area of Egypt.

I had a good plan thanks to Ahmed. I had searched how far each monument I wanted to check out was and I decided to leave Nigel at home. I was expecting a decent trek today but the main reason was so I didn't have to leave him lying around near "security" and then have the constant grief of paying them off. As it turned out, Nigel would've been fine and I don't think I could've got anymore grief if I had tried.

It started within 5 minutes of leaving the hotel and getting alongside the nile. You can take a ferry boat for £1 or private boat for £5. The Nile isn't wide, the ferry is constant, ill take the ferry but then I'll have to get through 4-5 waves of private boat sailors. This led me to question the intelligence of the 5th guy. Not only was he metres away from the 4th guy, so definitely within earshot of my previous "no thankyou" but he is standing right by the entrance to the ferry boat but then still tries to stop me... 

Like I said previously, I know they're only doing their job and its business but today I replied to his remark of "it's business its business" with "well the early bird gets the business" he obviously didn't understand this but if I was him and I had a lot of time on my hands (which currently they do) I would think a little bit about how I could make my business a little more successful instead of standing next to a service that does exactly the same as mine for 1/5 the price. Come on my friend!!! 

This turned out to be just the beginning! I was the only tourist on the boat and made myself a real human target thanks to my bright red Saints Foundation t-shirt. On the 2 minute boat ride I was approached 3 times and then I got off the boat to another barrage of taxi drivers and stall people. The reason why it was so extreme for me was that normally they expect many tourists in Luxor. To account for the high amount of tourists they have a lot of people that earn a living from pestering/providing a service to tourists. Unfortunately if you take away the tourists bar one  (me) then you end up with one guy constantly at breaking point.

I wanted some chill out time. When I'm riding the noise is constant and I'm always concentrating on something. Today I just wanted to be left alone and relax. I knew which way to go because all the taxis went in one direction, all the shops led one way and there was only one road with street lights. (There's a few tips for you if you ever find yourself in Luxor or similar foreign towns.) I had to walk a couple of km's to Memnon, this was interrupted with every taxi on the West Bank side of Luxor stopping by my side and today it wasn't just a "no thank you" and they were gone. Today was tough going, like trying to flick one of those impossibly sticky bogeys that just won't fly away! It's the nicest way of putting it!

Memnon was pretty impressive to say the least. I did love just imagining what it would've been like when all the temples were in complete working order. I never liked history at school but this was like walking through my very own book, absolutely amazing!

From Memnon and passing more taxis etc I walked passed a dig site where it was like looking at the set of the film "The Mummy" Lots of Egyptians busying themselves with wheelbarrows or chipping away at rocks and then when they found something of interest they would run to the white man sat under the umbrella who was telling them where to dig. I carried on walking towards the "Valley of the Kings" despite it being a good couple of miles. One guy was standing on the roadside and tried to flog me an alabaster scarab beetle. He learned a lesson today along with myself. 

I told him at the start I had no money for him and I was going to walk to the Valley of the kings. He persisted to walk by my side so I decided to just have a normal chat with him. The walk lasted a good 25-30 minutes into the middle of nowhere. I could see that at the end that he was annoyed that I didn't give him any money but in this case he was up against a stubborn/true to his word man that doesn't mind a "bit of a trek." At the valley f the King's there were more of them hanging out, and they were even more desperate. I spotted 3 other people that also had there own entourage of Egyptians trying to either be a tour guide or flog them a statue.

It really was relentless. You couldn't get annoyed although I did lose it once and you couldn't fight it, it was like being in the wild. I needed to embrace it so I took a very deep breath and decided to work with it and make it more of my entertainment then my overshadowing cloud on what really is an absolutely magical place. If I was with another person things would've been different from the start for sure. So I decided to create a different person for every taxi driver, sailor, stall worker and tour guide that decided to grab me. "Hello my friend, where you from?" I was from England, Scotland, Germany, Spain, Wales - "ah we love those, they are the best!" I even got that reply when I was from France....really? Now I know you're just saying that and not actually listening. Aruba confused them, confused me as well but it was the first different place I could think of!

"What's your name my friend?" I did enjoy being called Elvis. Elvis was from Germany and was an artful dodger for a living, I think he may play my African alter ego from now on. It was Chris from England that got out of a spot of bother when I took a picture of the tomb though. That's one thing you don't want to do. On my way to the police I was before I said to him that I would delete it. I deleted it but didn't realise they would be so touchy about it and still then he tried to get me to give him some money so he wouldn't tell! Nothing to tell after I've deleted the picture but I suggest if you decide to go, you don't even bother with trying sneaky ones.

I felt a bit conned (shock) as the ticket allows you to see just 3 tombs. There are about 50 banging around, most of them "closed" and you don't know what ones are the best until you've seen a better one. It turned out I saw the second best one but not the best. I blame this solely on one Egyptian guy. I spent a good 10minutes talking to him about the different levels of ok, good and the best and the fact I wanted to see the best. Intent on making me see his rubbish tomb compared the previous one I visited I was hopelessly suckered in. He got a high five from me and was lucky to get that despite his asking for much more. If you're planning on going, search for the top three so you're not left with an anti climax like I was.

I was still very impressed with what I saw. The valley is amazing and the detail in the tombs is unbelievable. Some still showing such great colour and it really really would've been amazing to see them years ago. I got a taxi to the temple of Hapchetsut and paid to get in as it looked intriguingly like there was something special behind the huge pillars that were built into the mountain. There wasn't. If you go, just take a picture from the car park and you've saved yourself some money. By the time I had finished with this I was again physically and mentally drained and on my supposed "day off." I just wanted a ferry, food and hotel and didn't really care how much I payed.

Memnon turned out to be my favourite place (probably as there were no Egyptians around) and that place was free! I was pleased with what I had achieved overall and I can safely say without any regrets that I experienced a large chunk of Luxor that I never would've done without both Ahmed's help. I would come back for sure but not alone and not when the tourist business is at an all time low. Just very unfortunate that it was how it was and their "business" was my annoyance for a large portion of the day. 

After finally embracing and working with the locals I managed to get lots of goods down in price and had a good laugh with a few stall owners. Playing one stall off against another may seem unfair but after the day I had and after paying for things that I would later find out I should of spent less than half of the price than I did, then I was entitled to leave some shopkeepers disappointed at a lack sale. I was finally turning the tables!

The horse and cart people you just had to bite your tongue at (their best price had plummeted over the last two days from 10 to 2, so you can really get an idea of how desperate its getting) and I didn't dare walk back along the Nile to my hotel as the sailors would've been unbearable. I grabbed some food, met up with Ahmed again for one final goodbye and thank you and sat and watched some football in the same restaurant as last night.

It is without a doubt that Egypt is a magical place and I'm already very happy to say I have experienced enough and ready to move on. One thing is for sure, I certainly won't forget Egypt. I have a few more days yet and have made lots of quirky observations along the way that I will blog at some point when I find a "boring" day (as if there is ever going to be one)

Tomorrow I head to Udfu. Still things to see and do on the way but Luxor has prepared me more to really utilise and enjoy my last few days in Egypt.

More Lux for me

Tuesday 22nd October

I woke up to a helicopter in my room. It wasn't a real helicopter it was a unionaire conditioning unit but it may as well of been a helicopter.

I didn't mind too much as the aim was to get an early start and get to Luxor as soon as I could to establish myself for a bit and maybe squeeze some sightseeing in. I left the hotel at around 7:30 and found myself in the most chaotic school run ever. I don't know what your typical school run is like but if you thought women trying to manoeuvre oversized range rovers outside small school entrances or fleets of buses with kids running everywhere was bad! Try adding dust, heat, noise, more vehicles going faster, more people moving everywhere and livestock to that equation. 

Myself, Beirdre and Nigel did well to get out alive but still had to endure a barrage of constant hellos, how are yous and where you froms, for about 2 hours from the locals and the kids that didn't go to school. At first its nice, you say hello back or you smile or you answer them even though they have no clue what you said. After doing it every minute or so for two hours though, it becomes hard to maintain that initial enthusiasm. I never ignored them, but my "hi-de-hi" wave and a smile did evolve into a lazy nod or a slight raise of the hand. I wasn't being grumpy, it was just very draining and you really have to experience to understand.

I followed a leg of the Nile the whole way down to Luxor. A good quality road hugged the bank and as I cycled I could see what an unbelievable resource for life the Nile is. From Qena, there are wetlands that stretch in width about a mile either side of the river and then in the distant mist you can see the concrete fighting its way upwards. The sound of pumps rang in my ears for the whole day as water is  taken from the river to fill irrigation systems. 

Fisherman in tiny boats work up and down the river and mules are constantly up and down the river banks with crops like sugar cane. I used to play a computer game set in the times of Greek mythology which reminded me of the layout. The Nile provides so much for the farmers and then beyond that you have the housing and the factories etc. It felt like I had been transported back hundreds of years to much simpler times and I have really. The craziest thing for me is when you realise I did it on my bike, the world all of a sudden becomes a lot smaller and that different planet, and those different people that you saw on the news and thought you will never come across, are all of a sudden saying hello to you, getting in your way or beeping at you!

I did have to laugh at one man who shouted at me from the top of a loaded flat bed truck of cement bags,  "what have you brought?" That was a new one for me. What? I had to bring something? Has a new king been born I thought, should I have brought gifts?, or was I a messenger with a telegram from the west? "Nothing, what have you brought?" I replied, I don't think he understood and the lorry pulled away before anybody else sat next to him could pipe up with another question.

Despite the "short" ride of 40 miles and the anticipation of Luxor, I was feeling a bit down today. It may of been due to not having breakfast or just the fact that I'm constantly finding myself deeper and deeper into adversity and being that one white man, I stick out and gain attention when sometimes I just like to be left alone. As I stopped for some water at a roadside tap a boy came running up to me and offered me some kofte. As i looked up i was shocked, the act of offering food wasn't the main surprise it was the fact that he was albino. I had never seen an albino before and I couldn't believe that I've gone almost a week in Africa without seeing a "white" person or at least spoken in a fluent English accent to anyone and now I have a "1 in 20,000" offering me a kebab! I gratefully declined, through shear surprise more than lack of hunger.

When I arrived in Luxor the feel was instantly more chilled out and open compared to Cairo. The buildings weren't as high and so it was less claustrophobic and when I said no thankyou to the taxi drivers, horse and cart people, jewellery sellers, people on the stalls, faluka sailors etc. most of them said ok and let me move on to the next one. 

One man with a donkey and trailer did try a little to hard for my liking to let him taxi me and Nigel on his flat bed the few hundred metres to my hotel. I did laugh, despite actually being on a mode of transport, I was still being pestered! They're persistent, I can definitely give them that! The hotel was found thanks to a man from another hotel that walked me down the road to the Little Garden Hotel.

Ahmed had told me to meet him at the Hotel and when I arrived I surprisingly met my first English lady! Barbara the owner was amazing and it was great to have a chat in a more relaxed English accent then a stagnated broken one. I chilled out for a bit in the room that Ahmed had sorted for me and then when he arrived we had a good chat through some of my plans for Luxor.

Ahmed is a tour guide and so the perfect man for telling me the best places to pay for and the other places just to take pictures of. He told me where everything was so I could ride or walk there if I wanted to and really if I wasn't for him then I would never of had a clue where to go first!

Ahmed left to go back to work but we had arranges to meet up later for some dinner. I saw the Luxor temple first (I had cycled past it on the way to the hotel but had no clue what it was) and then I went to the Karnak temple. I love the fact that all the statues are in their original positions and so when you travel through Luxor you can easily transport back in time with just a simple turn around the corner. I cycled around the outside of Karnak temple for a bit and it reminded me of the areas around the pyramids. Very poor, very tough living conditions and lots of waste. It is something that I have accepted since my first major shock in Albania and unfortunately its become the norm.

I wanted to spend a bit of time playing football with the local kids but they were too interested in Nigel and when, can you believe it, an Egyptian dwarf or whatever the "PC" term is at the moment decided to pretty much mount Nigel where the tent is normally strapped, I decided to get back to the ranch and chill before meeting Ahmed for dinner. 

Ahmed had already bought some food and we took it to a really chilled out opened roofed bar to eat and meet up with one of his friends. Despite working long hours, Ahmed was still willing to show yet more great Egyptian hospitality and ensure I was all sorted for my sightseeing day tomorrow.

After a lovely dinner of chicken, rice, kofte and pitta I hit the hay. I was pretty knackered and I had seen some pretty amazing sights! Some living and some not! I needed to lay down to ensure I was feeling ok!

What began quite a painful and stressful day, eased into a relaxing evening with yet another friend made. After 6 straight days hard cycling, I can enjoy some sightseeing and a day without Nigel tomorrow but don't tell him I said that.