Coco-nuts

Wednesday 29th January

I woke up early today because I thought we needed to meet Lawrence at 10 again. I was wrong, we were meeting him at 12 so I had a leisurely breakfast and got ready. As well as being the CEO of KSTS, Lawrence is also the director of a well established teacher training college and his wife is director of a primary school. In short, they are taking over the education of Kenya one school at a time.

We had lunch at the teacher's college and it was good to see another school and another way young Kenyans are educated. Lawrence is clearly a very successful businessman and he knows his stuff when it comes to education so he is a great contact for me to know if I consider teaching in Kenya.

After the tour of the college we walked a few hundred metres down the road to his wife's primary school. There were 11 classes ranging from 3 yr olds to 11 year olds and we were introduced to every class. Kenyans take pride in welcoming guests as they say good people are visited. The three of us ended up introducing ourselves to every individual class and it was funny trying to think of different things to say to each class.

Being put on the spot is a regular occurrence in Africa and they seem to have no qualms in making you stand up and talk to people. Luckily the three of us have no problems talking to groups of people but if you do have public speaking issues then i highly recommend visiting schools in Kenya to overcome your demons.

After the primary school visit, Lawrence dropped us in town. He had a few things to do and we arranged to meet up again at 7 for dinner at Lawrence's house. We didn't have anything to do but we were all pretty exhausted from the constant public attention. I've never been introduced to so many people in one day and its hard work saying the same thing with the same level of enthusiasm every time. This is another trait that I've had to develop, after constant explanations of why I'm in Kenya and answering the same questions (how do you cycle over the water?) a beer was warranted to relax with.

We had a quick drink and returned back home to get picked up again by Lawrence. I was expecting a big house and I wasn't wrong. We were invited into their huge lounge and within seconds we were given the wedding day album. Lawrence and Grace got married jut a few months ago and 1000 people attended so you could imagine how many pictures they had. I spotted a DVD case on the footstool that was under the album, I knew what was coming next. 

After half an hour of "wedding day part one" dinner was called and we were treated to a lovely array of traditional African food. During dinner I thought it would be a good game for each of us to give each other a sentence to say seamlessly in conversation. We agreed on the sentences when we were in town and they proved to be the main talking points of the evening. The best being T-Man's outburst as he was about as subtle as a meteor. Not only could he not properly remember his saying of "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts" as it came out "I have some coconuts at home" then as he panicked with the awkwardness of the brash topic change, he added "I have to eat lovely coconuts" but this prompted Lawrence to call Grace and cut open a coconut for after dinner. 

The innocent saying then escalated further with the production of opening the coconut and deducing whether the coconut was off or not. As the smell buzzed around the room I found it very hard to contain myself knowing that the only reason we were sat with a smelly open coconut in front of us was because of our little game. My saying prompted a conversation on how quail eggs help reduce high blood pressure and Malin's prompted her to sing a Nicky Minaj song at the dinner table but to really appreciate the humour, I guess you had to be there!

At around 11 the three of us did the whole tired eyes, flick of the head and tactical yawn thing. It was a good night and the first time the three of us had been invited for dinner anywhere in Kenya (first and maybe the last!). Lawrence is a really good guy and on top of his great hospitality he has also loaned Team Norway a car for the rest of their stay. 

Torbjoern has been after a car for a while now and the cars here are so expensive. Being white, there's no way you can find a bargain so they have managed to cut a deal in which Lawrence gets the car back when Team Norway leave. There are a few other stipulations to the deal but to find a decent car, a decent person who's selling it and a reasonable offer that has made life a lot easier for Team Norway is just another amazing chain of events stemming from my coaching workshop.

I hope the car thing works out as its hard enough buying a decent used car in your own country, let alone in Africa! As soon as we got home we all retired to bed still giggling away at the coconut fiasco. It was a long day but a good one. It's nice to be introduced to lots of people and paraded around but I definitely can't do it everyday!

Back 2 school

Tuesday 28th January

An early alarm call and a slobber filled Beirdre welcomed me as I woke up this morning. I sat at the breakfast table with a face like a piece of chewing gum that's been found down the side of the sofa thinking, how on Earth am I going to be able to coach for a whole day in this heat? I was already tired!

We arrived at a good time, just after 10 is during their break time so within a few minutes myself and T-Man followed the coaches onto the field and Malin was guided to the music room. Torbjoern was taking my role from Sunday as photographer and sunbather and before we knew it, we introduced ourselves and got straight into the session.

I had planned a session that would work fine with any amount of balls just as long as we had one. Thankfully I have a lot of experience at coaching various amounts of players with various amounts of equipment so I was prepared for anything. I had 11 players, 2 balls, a few cones and two goals so compared to other courses I've worked on, I was loaded!

The session went really well and despite it being ridiculously hot, the players still put in some great effort. The pitch was like a weed-filled minefield because they haven't had time to cut and roll any sort of playing field so i was just happy to finish the morning without any twisted ankles. The lumps, rocks and huge 2ft deep gutter that ran through the middle of the pitch were all expertly avoided by the lads thankfully. I was exhausted just standing in the heat and when I stopped the lads after an hour to see if we could have a water break the coach kindly whispered in my ear, "uuuumm, there is still another 45 minutes till lunch Mr Chris." Right-o, I'll carry on then shall I?

We went in for lunch just before 1pm, we had intended on eating with the pupils but they all seemed to disappear as we waited for the all clear to go into the school hall and eat. Malin was happy with her lesson and had finished all she had planned and T-man didn't really have much else to do so they were going to head into town to sort some house things out. I agreed to stay the whole day and sit in on the theory lesson. There was one hour of theory and 2 hours of practical left for the boys. 

I wanted to see how the Kenyan coaches worked. It's all well and good me coming in and teaching but i wanted the whole ride to be a cultural experience and I'm not going to learn anything as a coach if i don't observe other people. As I sat at the back of the class listening to the three main principles of football I felt the Stevie Wonders coming. If you mix an already tired Mr Chris with heat and food and then let him sit for a while, he will be sleeping in seconds.

I could feel the coach looking at me for recognition of what he was saying and it was all good but I had to fight my hardest to keep my eyelids and head from dropping onto the desk in front of me. I managed to stay awake though...just, and the lesson was very good. The long pauses between Kenyan sentences may be very annoying if you're bursting for a wee and are waiting for directions to the toilet but they are perfect for students that are righting down notes on what you're teaching.

I wasn't sure whether the coaches wanted me to coach the afternoon as well but I had planned something anyway just incase. Luckily I had because they did, and it tied in perfectly with the theory lesson. The sun had eased off thankfully, normally its hotter around 3 but the clouds helped me out and I was able to complete the afternoon without falling asleep or collapsing with dehydration.

The lads took a bit more time to understand the session so I had to work even harder which consequently made the time fly even faster. The tempo was astonishing even if the understanding was not 100% and I really enjoyed coaching again. I had a great sense of satisfaction when I finished and as I'm pretty sure I wouldn't see the lads again I thought it was right I ended with a wee "breathe and believe" speech.

I grabbed a mini van back home and as I sat in the back taking in all the surroundings i felt like I had worked here for ages. What I had today was a possible work option for the future and the CEO has basically offered me a job and a 7 bedroom house on the site of the school. I always feel good after a productive training session and to add to the job satisfaction, a cheeky cold one was enjoyed at home as the sun set.

A really good day, tiring, but good and it's great to be involved with Kenyan football in a small way.

A day for healing

Monday 27th January

This morning was a bit of a struggle to say the least and it felt like a typical Sunday that we didn't have yesterday. Only one way to fix a morning struggle though and that's with a full English breakfast. Team Norway were struggling more than myself so I treated them to the breakfast and then I dragged myself to the hospital for my final check up.

My scar has healed now and I'm a lot more confident with my arm going over bumps whilst in a Tuktuk. After the surgery, travelling in a Tuktuk would be quite painful over the African roads as the suspension is not exactly soft. Now I feel nothing which is good and I think another week will be enough to get back on Nigel with confidence but still taking it careful on certain roads.

Everybody at the hospital remembered my name, said hello to me and wished me well, some of the nurses I had never even seen before! The nurses were all great and again they came up to me to ask where Jesus was. A lot of people remember T-Man but not a lot remember his name so they just call him Jesus. The nurses in particular are good at remembering us and one even called me out in the street to see how my arm was. It was really nice and I felt good as I said goodbye, I felt ready to move on.

I returned back home to Team Norway who were still enjoying their day of rest in the same position as I left them. Malin made yet another lovely dinner and I caught up on the last week of blogging and planned my session for tomorrow. Addis Ababa was the last time I coached and its not been since the last School Holidays when I was back in England since I've coached a whole day.

I was looking forward to tomorrow but I knew it was going to be a long day in the sun. Coaching from 10 to 5 is long enough, let alone having the African heat to contend with as well.

A slow day to begin our busy week. Along with our school visits tomorrow and Wednesday, I want to do a hike up to Menangai crater which overlooks the National Park. It's nice to be finally doing more things in Nakuru and i need to get active again as getting back on Nigel will be a mega shock to the system.

Supermarket sweep

Sunday 26th January

I didn't get much sleep last night and I was dreading my 7 o'clock alarm even more so when I saw the clock turn 4am and I still couldn't get to sleep (guess I was just too excited). Three snoozes later, I pealed myself off the mattrice and tried to wake myself up and get into energetic mode. If I'm honest, I didn't have much faith in the organisation of today as we had left a few vital factors up to the coaches and we hadn't received any confirmation texts of timings etc.

Nevertheless, Torbjoern went down to the football pitch at half 8 and myself and Malin followed behind at 9. Torbjoern said at half 8 there were just two players and they were both around 8 or 9 years old.  I hate to think they were there so early because they slept on the street near there, I didn't ask but I'm pretty sure both boys have families and homes and are just extremely reliable.

Thankfully after a few minutes, coaches and players trickled in and by half 9 we had 3 coaches and around 20 players. Not everyone by a long shot but enough to be happy with. Torbjoern kindly put me on the spot to invent a team chant to infuse some camaraderie and life into the group and after a few war cries of "who are we?" "TWOMOC!!!" we set off for the market. (Not my best work but I need at least half an hour to create a decent song!)

As we arrived in the market it was clear to see that we had some serious work on our hands. The majority of the rubbish was small plastic bags and rotten food and it was absolutely everywhere, there was no way the boys could start cleaning without decent tools. Amazingly the coaches had come good and the boys were equipped with gloves, spades, forks, brooms and wheelbarrows. Torbjoern has a bad back so he helped with collecting the money and I designated myself as the photographer.

A rubbish truck and a tractor-trailor had been organised to pick up the rubbish and it didn't take long for all the boys to get stuck in. To say I was impressed with the work rate is an understatement. I was sweating buckets and all I was doing was taking pictures, the boys and coaches put in some seriously hard graft. It didn't take long for the lads to clear the first half of the market and the difference was amazing. It was great to experience our first fundraising event and really get to know the people of the market.

Previously I had walked through the market and did not enjoy myself at all as I thought some of the comments towards T-man were inappropriate. Today I still had a few incidents which I happily put straight but for the most part, spirits were high and it was all about how amazing the boys were. 

The second half of the market was matted with leaves so badly that the road could not even be seen. The amount of rotten food and leaves from banana plants, sugar canes and corn husks was ridiculous and the whole section took all of the players a good hour and a half to clear. Torbjoern said he felt guilty as he couldn't do anything due to his bad back, how do you think I felt? I was not only not doing anything but I was walking around exploiting the guys! I did enjoy it though and I'm pretty sure I took a few belters that Nat Geo would be proud to put on their front cover.

I was well aware of the amazing job that TWOMOC had done but even more aware that it was all well good doing a great cleaning job but all the effort needed to be utilised by collecting as much money as possible for the team. You could say that trying to get money from the workers of a kenyan market would be like selling ice to an Eskimo and that's what I thought at first. However, after everything was cleaned myself and Torbjoern went around to each stall armed with a bucket and a persuasive personality - Torbjoern also used a selling tactic of 10 shillings for a photo with Jesus.

We obviously wanted to target the customers as well but being a Sunday, the market was very quiet. After a few quick explanations of TWOMOC and a few good laughs later, I was very surprised by the generosity of the local workers. A few dances and one marriage proposal helped me to hit about a 75% success rate which I would never of guessed beforehand.

We finished the clean up by really praising the boys, they had done an amazing job and they had installed a whole new belief in TWOMOC and what they are capable of doing with a helpful push from Team Norway. It was amazing to here that the boys really enjoyed it and they even thanked us for organising it. Where in the world would you get 17/18 year olds thanking you for making them clean up rubbish in 30 degree heat?!

It's fair to say the three of us were buzzing from the whole experience and we actually felt accepted into the community a little bit. Today was a great stepping stone for TWOMOC and Team Norway to work to more fundraisers. We counted that we had raised a further 3000KSH to add to the 1100 from my workshop. This is by no means going to pay for the whole season but its a start, and it can now be a target to beat for the next monthly market clean up day.

The three of us had a bit of a celebration which escalated somewhat into the night. It was great to talk positively about our experiences for once and Team Norway are gradually surrounding themselves with good people and organisations that they are enjoying and want to work for. They thanked me for this and said if it wasn't for me then none of it would've happened. I was really happy about this, I never for one second thought I could make an impact like this by stopping at an organisation for a day or two but my accident has enabled me to actually help in making a difference.

Today was a really great day from start to finish. A definite highlight of Kenya so far and a day I will remember always.

Puzzle pizzas

Saturday 25th January

There wasn't much on the agenda today. A weekly Skype session and making homemade pizza were the only two things pencilled in...tough day ay?

I went to my local watering hole in town that has reasonable wifi to Skype but today it was playing up. Malin and T-man were off fighting the markets for bargains so I met up with them later for a few a drinks. 

As I've said before, time is flying by and although it seems I've been here for ages, everyday seems to pass with a blink. I've established a routine similar to living back home but it will never be the same as this is Africa after all. Mazungo's in Nakuru are typically teachers or volunteers and they do what you would expect them to do, hang out in the nice coffee shops and live for the weekend. The actions are the same but the surroundings are so very different so the likelihood of something completely random happening are very high. 

Myself and Team Norway tend to live for the day and the three of us love and embrace randomness and spontaneity. In recent days we have scrapped plans and ended up staying in town but today we had to fight our way out of the beer garden and back home to make pizzas.

The pizza's were a great success and they represented the teamwork that the three of us have established so quickly. Malin made the sauce and prepared all the ingredients, Torbjoern made the dough and pushed them out to size and I created the stuffed crusts, topped (with Malin's help) and cooked them. The three of us were like one pizza making conveyor and I really made the most of the end product as I know it won't be long before I'm back to packet noodles and biscuits!

A movie and an early (ish) night came next as tomorrow we are meeting at half 8 for what I think will be a long hot day cleaning the market.

Karibu Kenya

Friday 24th January

I was up early today to get my hospital visit over and done with as soon as possible. The cut has healed now but there is just a little hole that bleeds slightly so they dressed it again but I will return Monday for the last time and I shouldn't have to get it dressed again.

The four of us had lunch which proved to be Philip's last meal. It was nice to hear his great stories but in the end I think Team Norway had had enough and Philip's welcome of a "couple of days" was slightly overstayed. After all, they were already housing one traveller from the street and I think Philip's brash ability to help himself to everything really took the biscuit...

He was a very interesting guy though, it takes a brave person to do what he was doing and he's given me some great travel ideas for the future.

At 2pm we visited Kenya's first and only talent academy. After my workshop on Sunday we were approached by the CEO of Kenya Sports and Talent School (KSTS) and invited to visit and see the work they are doing there. The school was just a short Tuktuk ride from our home and so we decided to check it out. 

When we arrived we were immediately welcomed with open arms and made to feel at home. The school had around 40 pupils but had only been open for 2 months. The plot of land was huge with so many buildings. The majority of the buildings were not in use but the school has some unbelievable potential. The CEO showed us around the classes that were in progress like art and crafts, drama, music and football. The subjects they offer are mainly practical and there are digs for students that live there. We were introduced to every student and member of staff and everybody seemed so nice.

The CEO seemed like a very good guy also, he was currently sponsoring all the boarders out of hi own pocket. He showed us around and we got the idea that he thought we were prospective sponsors. We soon told him that we weren't in any position to give money but were interested instead in teaching. If it wasn't for my ride I could definitely see myself working there. The whole campus had a great feel and its vision seems like a very exciting thing to be part of. Malin has a music degree so she was interested in getting involved in that subject and Torbjoern's focus is on getting kids off the street which Lawrence, the CEO said was his next proposed step for the school.

I was expecting just a quick walk around the campus and a goodbye but instead we were paraded like royalty and were treated to two plays from the drama department and songs and dancing from the music department.

The three of us were sat plum in front of all the pupils like X Factor judges and I really enjoyed every minute of it. Very surreal, but very enjoyable. I was experiencing real African education and both plays had great morals relative to Kenyan life that the students will eventually perform to students all around Nakuru. 

The music students sang some African songs for us and I felt myself developing a cheesy grin that stuck for most of the day. I had to pinch myself at one point, I was in Kenya, watching Kenyan students sing Kenyan songs and I had got here by bike! This school was everything I expected Kenya to be and the three of us were so happy we made the effort to visit.

Lawrence gave us a lift into town and during the car journey we invited him for a drink before we were due to go shopping. He accepted and for the next few hours we got to know him a bit more and had a really good chat. It's horrible to say but the dirty truth is that Kenyans are hard to trust because experience shows that they are only after the white person for their money. Kenyans in positions of power are even harder to trust but innocent until proven guilty and all that and Lawrence's ideas and views seem really positive. The three of us loved the school so much that we organised to teach for a day next tuesday in our areas of expertise. We also agreed to see Lawrence's other, more established college and then have dinner with his family on Wednesday.

Within a couple of hours we had almost filled our week! Its a real shame that just as I'm settling in and creating a lot of very good contacts, I will be saying goodbye but that's the nature of travelling unfortunately.

We grabbed some food and put close on a great day. I could sense Team Norway had a new found buzz for Kenyan life and people. Recent days have proved quite strenuous for the two of them as they have had to deal with some not very nice Kenyans. With Tuesday and Wednesday planned and the market clean up with TWOMOC on Sunday planned, Team Norway have at last got some positive things to look forward too and its all helping them with there cultural exchange. For me, I'm just loving the ride and if I can help in areas that a few days ago I didn't know existed, then what can I say...it's just meant to be.

Ma-booboo

Thursday 23rd January

It's fair to say that after last night, today was a right off. I spent the majority of the day watching movies, thinking about alternative routes to Lesotho and thinking about how boring my blog entry for today will be.

I just ended up going round in circles with regards to route planning. My ride so far has proved that there really is no point planning so I'm just going to keep with my original rough plan and put the hard graft in. I will have to endure longer, hotter and harder days but if I've learnt anything from my ride already, it is that if kept strong, the human body and mind are capable of amazing things when called upon. I am a sucker for punishment sometimes and I'm sure Africa still has a few more surprises waiting for me so I'm excited and ready for the challenge!

And that's it, told you today's blog would be boring.

P.S I have made a mistake since I arrived in Kenya and have not bothered to rectify it until now. The Kenyans call white people mazungo's not mazumbo's. I have continued to write mazumbo's on my blog because nobody has been around to pick me up on it. Nobody until Malin, and I'm sure she will be happy to hear that I have changed it. Mazungo's means "outsider" in Swahili, I don't particularly like being called it but then again I don't like it when Beirdre gets stuck in my mouth when I'm eating but I just have to deal with that aswell.

The waiting game

Wednesday 22nd January

I left for the hospital at around 9. They didn't allow me to book a time, they just told me to turn up. I don't know whether this is the case for every doctor but for my guy in particular, I just had to hope he would be free when I arrived. 

I was intending on a bit of a wait but thankfully the doctor was in and he was free so I got checked over after 5 minutes of waiting. The doctor did some internal stitches and a few external ones so the scar in the end would be just a clean line. Unfortunately a couple of the external stitches had come loose a few days ago in my sleep and so instead of a clean healed line, I have a bit of an open hole that is still yet to heal properly.

I'm covered in scars from a variety of unfortunate events from an injury on an inflatable penguin to a failed downstairs "sledding" attempt on a pack of 24 toilet rolls. My mate says "chicks dig scars" but when I reveal the true story of my scars, I come across more of a dumbo than a hero. This scar will just add to the many but i will take it as a positive reminder of my ride and everything I've experienced, instead of an unfortunate front flip thanks to a Kenyan Lorry driver.

I got the cut properly dressed and was told that because my collarbone wasn't a simple break and I had shattered it, that it was best that I wait at least 4 weeks, and even then I should still be careful. I don't have to get another x-ray until after the complete healing process of 8 weeks so I will have to figure that out in Tanzania.

Having to wait is a bit of a bummer but I really don't want to break it again. I have to be very strict in letting it heal and so the doctor advised me that I should do absolutely nothing with my arm apart from keeping it in a sling. I need to go back to the hospital on Friday and again on Monday to redo my dressing and then that should be it. The hospital gave me some antibiotics to take home with me, I hardly think there necessary considering I haven't taken any since I broke it but hey-ho.

I returned back to Team Norway to give them the news and they were the best. "No more washing up either then, you can stay here and relax for as long as you need, its totally fine" Torbjoern said. Thanks to Team Norway I can relax and I have no worries about the recovery time. My main issue now is how I'm going to complete the ride in time. I have money restraints and an important occasion to attend in May so I need to aim to finish before May ideally. I don't particularly want to change my route so I'm looking at having to complete around 4000 miles in just over 2 months. 

This is doable, I'm actually looking forward to the challenge and now my ride is taking yet another angle and becoming a bit of a race against time. If I still want to stay a few days at my chosen organisations then I'm going to have to put even more effort into the cycling. I'm not one to turn down a challenge as after all, a challenge is why I find myself recovering from a shattered collar bone in the middle of Kenya! I just need to ensure I'm rested and recovered enough to get back on the road with confidence.

As it was another beautiful day in Nakuru I continued my recovering outside in the garden. Team Norway were working on an article for their local newspaper back home. They have included my ride and charity work in their article so this means myself, Beirdre and Nigel have got ourselves into newspapers from 3 different countries.

For dinner we had another BBQ which was our best to date. It's good to see that we are learning from our previous mistakes and BBQs are getting increasingly better and incident free. We met up with TWOMOC at 6 o'clock and I was happy to see everybody there. There were also three teams so we got to speak to at least 50 players.

During the meeting I had a new found confidence in the possible success of Sunday and in the coaches of TWOMOC. Despite their poor time keeping and communication with each other, its clear to see they are well respected by their players. Whether this is down to the coaches or just some very good players I probably won't be around long enough to tell but at least there are good people to work with for Team Norway.

The time of Sunday was still not confirmed so we still couldn't guarantee Sunday's go ahead with the players, we just told them to be free for it. We are also hoping gloves and bin bags will be available as TWOMOC can use the money from my workshop to provide this. Team Norway are going to pay for the collection buckets and so with some confident young players to spread the word of the clean up and a few small things that can be sorted very easily, Sunday should hopefully be the first of many successful fundraisers for TWOMOC.

After the meeting I was in a good mood and we had organised to meet up for a few drinks with Nick the Australian from last week. We met him at his hotel along with 4 more of his colleagues. It felt strange but great to go for a few drinks with a group of people. Just over 3 weeks ago I was on a solo adventure crossing the border from Ethiopia to Kenya and tonight here I was in a group of 8 people from 5 different countries, having a few drinks on a night out. 

We had a good night, no lion king to finish but still a good night. I'm pretty sure tomorrow has movie day written all over it.

No showcoaches

Tuesday 21st January

Some fragile heads were wandering around this morning however I felt ok. I enjoyed myself last night but didn't end up like Philip or T-man which was probably a good job too as last night's Fort Boyard/Swan lake impression in the toilet would've ended up more like "Its a knockout."

Despite their fuzzy heads the lads still managed to get up, be out of the house and into town by 12. I had a few things to do that needed the Internet so left the guys at the regular cafe of choice and ticked off a couple of "life maintenance" jobs.

I returned back to the cafe where the guys were still sat and had lunch. Malin went shopping, Philip went looking for cheaper food to keep to his already impressive "couch surfer" budget which makes my £10 a day budget look like a high roller. I've had to break my budget whilst being here with Team Norway because otherwise I would find myself sat like a dog with my plain noodles watching Team Norway devour quality feasts. I can't do that and so i will just have to counteract what i enjoy now with discipline later.

Time seemed to fly by today and when Malin was finished shopping it was almost time to meet TWOMOC  at the football pitch. Torbjoern went back to the house with Malin and the shopping and myself and Philip walked down to the football fields. Training is supposed to start at 5pm so the four of us aimed to get there at half past as we know how timing works in Kenya.

Myself and Philip arrived at 5:15 to find no coach and about 8 players playing piggy in the middle. Team Norway turned up just after and I have to say I was a bit annoyed. When you've just done a workshop that focused on planning and being time conscience and we had arranged a meeting for today and there was no coach, then it makes you question the commitment in TWOMOC. I could say that this is not my problem, not turn up at all and let TWOMOC do what they want. I'm in a position where its very easy to give up on these people as some of their negativity and lack of effort builds huge barriers. I don't want to do that though and although there's a lot to do to turn TWOMOC into a sustainable and successful football team that helps the kids of Nakuru, its not exactly hard work, it just requires better communication and effort.

I can't be too outspoken as I don't want to jeopardise Team Norway's chances for any sort of participation in the future, so when Hillary and Aggray turned up either side of 6 o'clock I just questioned if there was anything wrong? The coach's that we were expecting were Night and Asha so we couldn't exactly get annoyed with Hillary and Aggray as A. They had turned up (albeit an hour late) and B. The team that was training wasn't even theirs! 

There was no excuse (Night and Asha are unemployed and neither Hillary or Aggray had spoken to them) and so for around half an hour we endured the most painful conversation that consisted of a lot of noise without any questions of ours being answered. This folks, is Kenya (as I'm seeing it). A culture clash in where we ask a direct question and we get given a reply that bears no relevance to anything. Not only that but there are 3 second pauses between most sentences and so if you have an attention span like I have, listening to one paragraph can take every ounce of patience and attention.

We didn't stay long, we re-organised the meeting for tomorrow night where were assured we would have all the information for Sunday and all the coach's would be present and on time. After that we left to get some dinner. My disappointed mood was soon cheered up by a steak on a hot plate and not only was it very cheap (about £3) but tasted pretty good too. I also craved some ugali which I never thought I would say after the first time of having it but I ate it and it brought back fond Christmas memories. (I also didn't think I would ever say that!)

Tomorrow I'm going to see the doctor to see what he says about my recovery. I know I'm going to be out of action for at least another week and then after that I will just have to see what he says.

Philip philop phun

Monday 20th January

Compared to other days, our schedule was jam packed today with 2 things pencilled in. We had planned yesterday to meet the players after football training tonight and tell them about Sunday's clean up fundraiser. We also had another visitor coming to stay with us from the couch surfing website.

Myself and T-man are both members of couch surfing which is a traveller's website and you basically either host or get hosted by a variety of different people in countries all over the world.

I've never bothered contacting anyone through couch surfers as that would still be classed as a plan for me but it is a great way to get accommodation for free. Philip from Germany contacted Torbjoern on Saturday and so Team Norway are playing host to another random traveller for however long. Philip has been hitchhiking through Ethiopia, Somalia and Djibouti and was hitchhiking today from Nairobi so we weren't sure what time he would arrive.

As it happened, he turned up when we were having lunch and so we did introductions and general chit chat at home before we were due to go down to the football field. Philip is 24 and a well travelled guy with some great stories and as expected, very easy going and not afraid of making himself at home. I thought I was good at inviting myself to homes and parties etc but Philip has opened my eyes to what really is pushing the boundaries to "self-helping"

It started to rain quite heavily so we rung one of the coaches to see if the training was still on. I'm sure rain wouldn't affect the kids at all but I was questioning the coaches commitment more than anything. Sure enough the meeting was moved to tomorrow which left us open to give Philip a proper greeting and show him a few local watering holes.

Two Norwegians, a German and an Englishman walked into a bar could be the start to a typical playground joke but we didn't need long winded jokes to have laughs, we had a language barrier and misunderstandings that would do just fine. The night began with a funny misunderstanding where apparently white albino's are wanted for their horns, this set the standard for a night that continued with numerous humorous quotes.

We ate at Gilani's where Team Norway took me for the first time exactly two weeks ago and then replicated the bars we went to as well. The same guys were at the bar and they were all very happy to see us again. My night ended with a trip to the toilet which was more like something out of the crystal maze. 

I realise it's been a while since I've talked about my toilet habits. I've not been taking it for granted that's for sure but I was certainly kept on my toes with this one. As it was nearing closing time the kind staff at the pub had cleaned the toilets and then chained and padlocked all the cubicles.

I tend to leave going to the toilet till the last minute, I don't see how people can go and sit and wait for nature to slowly take its course. I like to live on the edge in everything i do and hope that I won't encounter any last minute obstacles en route. Waiting for a minute or so if the cubicles are full is normally not a problem and i can even survive adding extra time for a complicated belt and button combination without any embarrassing accidents. However ask yourself this, is it fair to give a man in a sling with limited movement, a ring of 20 keys to unlock one of 3 dodgy padlocks that locks the cubicle to a hole in the ground. To add to this Crypton Factor, the hole is surrounded by wet floor and I'm wearing flip flops!

No, its not fair is it.

I'm proud to say I completed the task with no problems at all but if it wasn't for a lucky guess on the keys and stable legs as I pirouetted around the hole, then things could've been disastrous.

When we got home Philip went straight to bed, having the first few beers in a month seemed to have got to him and myself and Team Norway finished a good day off with a movie. 

Hopefully tomorrow we can meet up with the coaches and players and sort the organisation for Sunday. I really hope its a success but all the signs are saying otherwise.

Coaches drop-in clinic

Sunday 19th January

Another routine slow morning took us to a cafe in town for brunch and then the supermarket to pick up a few things for the meeting.

The meeting was due to start at 2:00pm but due to a funny misunderstanding between Torbjoern and the caretaker of the community hall we were unsure if the hall would be unlocked at all. On Friday afternoon Torbjoern received a phone call from the caretaker to confirm Sunday's meeting however Torbjoern thought he was talking to his physiotherapist. The same physiotherapist that didn't turn up for Torbjoern's appointment on Friday morning. As you could imagine Torbjørn was not exactly impressed on the phone and when the "physio" had the cheek to try and rearrange the appointment for 2pm on Sunday Torbjoern told him that he was busy on Sunday with a meeting and arranged to see him on Monday instead.

We realised this had happened on Sunday morning so Torbjoern tried to ring the caretaker back to apologise but could only leave a message. For this reason when we arrived at half one to find the hall still locked, we started to worry slightly. Just a few minutes later the caretaker arrived as he eventually got Torbjoern's message. The three of us were set up and ready at 2pm but unfortunately as is the way in Africa we were waiting for late comers.

At 2pm there were around 6 people, I waited till half 2 and by that time a further 10 arrived. I was happy with the turn out of 16 and my nervous/excited butterflies soon flew away after the first couple of seconds. The workshop went well, I managed to get blood from a few stones and got a few answers to the questions I was throwing out. A few more people dribbled in as I was talking an I ended up with around 20 coaches from all over the Nakuru area.

TWOMOC got 1000shillings from the coaches from other clubs and on the whole I thought the workshop was a success. It was great to do something for an area of Kenya and not just one hand picked organisation and by doing this we raised a little money to get TWOMOC's bank account rolling. 

After the workshop we had a quick meeting with just the TWOMOC coaches with regards to the market clean up set for Sunday. I'm worried about the organisation already of this Sunday and so hopefully myself and Team Norway can save it from being just a clean up with no money raised at all into a bit more of a success!

We agreed that we would meet some of the players in training tomorrow to let them know their roles for Sunday. It seems last minute compared to how we organise things England and I'm sure Norway is no different but we are embracing Kenya and its culture and doing things last minute seems to be the way they like it here. There's less chance of double booking yourself when you do things last minute but obviously you leave yourself open to everything else that's not been planned.

After that meeting we went to celebrate the mini success of the workshop with some food and then it was back home and bed.

Today was always about the workshop and I'm really happy we had such a good turn out and I hope I gave the coaches something that they will remember and use to good effect. At the end of the meeting we were approached by the CEO of a talent school in Nakuru and he was very keen on showing us around his school. What exactly he wanted from us is still unknown but the courses they teach are very practical and a lot more suited to what Team Norway are interested in. Whether or not this maybe a route they will think about taking when they have finished their year placement I don't know but for now I think we are going to check it out to see how some more organised establishments are run in Kenya.

It seems we have a busy week ahead of us!

Fun in the sun

Saturday 18th January

After yesterday's devastation we made a plan to cheer ourselves up with some sunbathing and BBQ #2. We knew we could never recreate yesterday's kebab but the Tusker Malt helped us to forget about that and enjoy the beautiful sunshine.

Today was hot, myself and Malin were a little more active than Torbjoern so we pulled out a couple of matrices into the garden and soaked in the weather holiday-style. Music, a few drinks, great weather and great company made it feel just like a typical holiday. The only thing that reminded me I was in Africa was the eagle hovering no more than 10 metres above our heads as we sunbathed. He was definitely eyeing up the smaller of the two dogs and after last nights fiasco I was secretly hoping he went for him. He didn't in the end, he just flew away but maybe he'll be back.

Come 3 o'clock it was time for me to drag the TV a bit closer to the window and sit outside and watch the Saints. I was a bit gutted with the result as they should've won in my eyes but the disappointment was softened when I looked up to see the big yellow thing still in the sky and the BBQ was in full flow. I cooked the sausages today and they were not going to be the only Hot dogs if I had my way. 

After the BBQ super Saturday continued with an English 3 o'clock game and then the evening match. We had no plans to go out and I think the sun had zapped out energy so Team Norway went to bed fairly early and left me in control of the TV buttons.

A good day of fun in the sun and the quieter evening gave me an opportunity to add to my notes and prepare for tomorrow's coach's workshop. I just hope there's a good turnout.

Stick up, stick in, stick to it

Friday 17th January

With one thing planned in writing today, I was busier than normal but could still allow for a late start.

We left the house at around 12, Malin was going to go clothes shopping around the market so T-Man and I were going to have a wander around the food market. I had to put on my blind-eye glasses, switch on my deaf ear and rub myself into a good mood because when myself and Torbjorn hit the market we create a tidal wave of laughter, staring and random shouts that either I don't understand or that don't make any sense. I let T-man walk in front of me and i observed the locals and counted how many times he got called "Jesus." Previously he's counted 18 times in 20minutes as he walked down the street. Today we had all sorts of reactions and unfortunately some were borderline rudeness, coming up to you in a way that a drunk person would, not knowing what they were saying and sometimes knocking you with no respect whatsoever.

It makes it a lot easier being with someone, you can bounce off each other with your moaning and laugh about it. It's the best way to deal with it. A lot of the Kenyans don't have any idea how racist their remarks are and a lot are severely naive but this all boils down to lack of education. A lot of the Kenyans are great fun as well and the more switched on ones can really lighten your day.

As much as I want to defend them, today I couldn't. Today I think we had all the uneducated ones and they worked very hard at scratching away at my patience and good mood.

After about 15 minutes I was ready for a beer. We chose a restaurant that overlooked a T-Junction, absolutely perfect for people watching and calming down with a cold one or two. We waited for Malin before we had food and with one look at the menu, I knew we weren't exactly in for a Michelin star experience.

The restaurant had no beef so we were forced to order chicken. Team Norway ordered regular fried chicken and if there's one thing I will never forget from my experiences in Africa, its never order regular fried chicken. As I suspected, their fried chicken came out drier than the Nubian desert and tougher than the Daily Telegraph crossword. My "wet" fried chicken wasn't much better but at least it came with some sauce. 

Myself and T-Man had our chicken with a chapati that turned to dust when you picked it up and Malin had rice. 

Chicken - 200 KSH

Chapati - 40 KSH

Rice - 40 KSH

The food cost nothing but when we got the bill it read 400 KSH each.

I have mentioned a few times before how bad the service is in Africa and I have no problems with telling them this to their face. This is something that Team Norway said they wish they could do but they are just too nice and Torbjørn especially is not really a fan of confrontation. Here, they were just trying to take money from us and so this situation would prove to be perfect for Team Norway's first lesson in sticking up for themselves. My job would be to sit back and if I sensed they were backing down due to African excuses I would step in and relight the fire.

As suspected, the 2 waitresses, 1 waiter and "manager" were full of excuses, contradictions and uneducated arguments that made no sense, there was no way we were going to back down. The build-up of the morning's experiences may have been a factor in our reason for arguing over such a tiny amount of money but Team Norway held strong, we paid 240KSH each and left, (never to return/be allowed in again)

Despite being annoyed at the restaurant for their ridiculous arguments we walked away with beaming smiles on our faces. I felt like a proud father that had just witnessed his children sticking up for their beliefs and not get conned or bullied into giving money away for no reason other than because they are white and "tourists."

We had planned to go and check out the football training for TWOMOC. When we got there the regular coach wasn't there and the lads were just playing a practice match. Because of this, there wasn't really much point in us being there however Aggray, the junior coach was there, and he told me he had spread the word about my workshop to all the coaches of Nakuru. This was promising news and he seemed to think there would be quite a few that would turn up on Sunday. Knowing Kenyan people and their reliability with meetings I wasn't going to hold my breath but I would be happy with more than 5!

We left the football as it got dark and returned home for a BBQ. The darkness wasn't an issue as we filled the garden table with candles and I cooked by torch light. The food was quality as always and the main event of the meal would be a chicken and bacon kebab with beef and mushroom. Malin had made one each and they were marinated and prepared with pure love and devotion. We were still hungry after the first lot of regular kebabs so I made sure I cooked the three special ones with intense concentration as to not ruin them in anyway.

Malin and Torbjoern's love for bacon and my love for food in general meant that these kebabs were much anticipated, like the finale of a fireworks display. After a good 10 minutes of careful rotating over the amber coals as the BBQ was cooling down, they were ready. I left my station for 1 minute as Torbjoern called me over to see a photo that he had taken of the fire and the night sky (he was experimenting with effects) Malin returned to the BBQ from the house and shouted something in Norwegian at Torbjoern. I didn't understand what she said but I could tell by her tone that it wasn't good. My stomach felt sick immediately, it was the kebabs, what had happened? I ran to the BBQ to find nothing, they were gone....the dogs had'em. 

I turned to see their two ill-mannered African dogs munching away at my meat sensation on a stick and within seconds the mood of the garden plummeted into silence and devastation. Malin was clearly gutted and I was angry at myself and have never wanted to kick a dog so much in my life. I didn't kick them... but I really wanted to.

Unfortunately this event tarnished our night and with no more food and the BBQ dying anyway, there was nothing left to do other than to go to bed disappointed and hungry. I will forever wonder what those kebabs would taste like but I can't let it affect my ride. I've had disappointments in the past and managed to carry on regardless but today may go down as one of the biggest disappointments of my ride to date.

I said yesterday that eventful days come every other, today I proved myself right unfortunately. From now on, if the dogs come within a metre of the BBQ then I'm helping them with going all the way onto the BBQ!