Escort business

Monday 21st October

Have you ever had one of those days at work where you felt that someone was watching your every move and constantly breathing down your neck? I had one of those days today...

Another great night sleep followed by a relaxing morning finishing off my sesame seed treats for breakfast. Pushing Nigel back through the thick sand to the road was a good way to wake up my tired muscles and before I knew it I was top cogging it with a nice tailwind. 

I came across a few Bedouin villages within the first hour and I decided to stop at a big cafe next to a large Bedouin settlement. The man that ran the cafe was a very friendly man which made me more inclined to sit down and buy some extra breakfast. Fresh (non soily) water was delightfully cold and free from the clay pots outside so I paid a pound for some fanta and some cakes. That's literally all they sell, fizzy drinks and confectionary.

The man at the cafe spoke pretty good English as he gets a lot of tourists come and go which meant I must be getting close to some attractions. I knew I still had at least 90km till Qena but I hoped the ride would get broken up slightly if there were things to stop and see. 

I approached another police checkpoint along the main road, all the others I have been waved through with no problems at all. This one however, was slightly different. "hey wait!" What looked like the main man shouted at me so I thought Id better stop. They normally just ask where you're going, I say the next town and they send me on my way. "You cannot ride" "why not?" I asked. It took a while before I got a reply to that question. I didn't get a definite answer so I tried to guess, "dangerous?" "No safety?" The policeman didn't reply at all he just insisted I stayed at the checkpoint for 5 minutes while he waited for the boss policeman to arrive and mentioned about a police car driving with me to my destination.

I waited 15 minutes, "how long?" My plans to aim big and get to Luxor were slipping away, I just wanted to get going. "10 minutes" he said, in true "snatch"-esque style I replied "you said 5 minutes, 15 minutes ago!" I laughed. "I asked again, bedouins dangerous?" "yes" he said. My previous experiences with bedouins have stretched from waving at them to witnessing a 9 year old girl whipping a scrawny goat but i could see how they had the potential to be like our version of pikeys. You know, go around the desert drag racing their camels, conning you out of pounds for doing a bodge job at sweeping your rug, that sort of thing. 

They said that it was someone's job to escort people back and forth to their destination etc and they kept trying to ring someone but nothing was really getting done.

I continued to wait patiently as to be fair, if it was for my protection then i wasn't going to argue. I just stood there and watched them "work." There were around 10 of them all standing around doing nothing. They all started to shout at one of the watch towers, they were obviously expecting someone. The guy in the watch tower was doing a fine job watching the sheep jump over the fence so they chucked stones at the tower to wake him up. After 40 minutes of standing there, a convoy turned up which prompted the watch towers to shout something back and forth to each other and the rest of them saluted the blacked out windows of a white Lexus.

I obviously didn't have a Scooby Doo who it was but as soon as the convoy past, the guy seemed to think I had waited long enough and I was allowed to leave. So i wasn't waiting for an escort for me at all then! I cycled for about 5 minutes and 3 policemen in a van pulled up beside me. So I did have an escort after all? They sped forward and stopped in front of me. As I rode up to them they asked if I would get in the back with the bike. No no no I'm afraid boys, I'm a purist as much as possible, you will have to drive alongside. So they did. For the next two hours they drove just behind me at a constant 18ish mph which I have to say, was pretty decent in desert heat. Every now and then they would come alongside to have a chat, "you cycle very strong" why thank you Mr Police Escort, if yesterday I felt like a racing cyclist, today I felt like a royal cyclist. I treated them to a few tunes and unfortunately my singing isn't as strong as my cycling so that prompted them to speed off to the next check point. Not once did I get the chance to slipstream behind them, they didn't like that and even though easy option of a free ride to not just Qena but to Luxor was there like a carrot dangling around me, I kept strong. I knew I would have to be honest on the blog and I knew certain mates wouldn't let me live down "the time I cheated for 80 miles in the back of a police van!" They'll still pick up on the fact I flew to Cairo but I couldn't help that, this, I could.

I could see my security was falling asleep in the passenger seat. I couldn't blame him, I always fall asleep in cars and combine that with a nice warm breeze, I would've been soundo if I didn't have handlebars to hold onto and peddles to push. The police van did put me off though. I felt more of a target and couldn't really enjoy the scenery as much as I wanted to as I could sense they were there, wanting me to hurry up probably!

After about 30 miles the first escort stopped. I knew I couldn't stop, if I stopped I would die and the stop would last around an hour knowing their time keeping. I kept going through, "Hey! Wait for just 5 minutes!" He said. They had left me for the last 20 minutes as they sped off anyway! "You can catch me up in 5 minutes" I said. I carried on through another 2 checkpoints and after about 45 minutes another escort with two new guys turned up. "You going to Luxor?" They asked. It was half 2 and Luxor was at least another 40 miles. I really couldn't be bothered, my legs were shot, the last hour had done me in and I was in no rush. "No Qena, can you help me with a hotel?" They stopped right in front of me and told me to jump in the back just like the last lot. "How far to Qena?" I asked. "2km" he said. "2km?!!!! Come on ill race ya!" I wasn't going to cycle 80 miles through the desert then get in the back of the van  for the last 2km! About 10 minutes past and my legs were wanting a hotel bed to lay down on. "How far?" I asked. "About 5km" he said. You're kidding! So your time keeping is about as good as your geography then. Eventually we got to a hotel. I was kind of stuck in a rut as the police were kind enough to find me it (I think they had some deal going on with the owner) there was no way they were going to let me free to cycle off into the desert for a camp instead so I had to agree to stay the night.

It was only £6 English for the room and it wasn't a bad looking place in quite a shifty looking town to be honest. I didn't like the way all the hotel workers kept asking me how much Nigel was and how much were his accessories. I also didn't like how one of the workers analysed the lock and the key I locked him up with so I made a massive point to establish a friendship and I told him, "if there is no bike tomorrow, you don't get tip" The cheeky blokes knocked and asked for a tip for carrying one bag up one flight of stairs even after I had said goodbye and shut the door. Then when he had been payed off I got another knock on the door from another guy that said, "I help with your bike up 1st stairs, I get £5 tip." I gave him a lesson in how you wait till the end for tips because like I told the last guy, "no bike tomorrow, no tip" Youve got to laugh, but annoyingly AGAIN they had me firmly grabbed by the "Nigel's" just like the "pyramid people" and I didn't want to give them any reason to strip Nigel naked! (Just stripped me instead!)

After all of this, I was dying for something cold. The heat was pretty unbearable today and drinking very warm water although keeps you alive, doesn't exactly refresh you! An icy cold stare could've been enough for me but that didn't happen. It didn't come in the form of a favourable bottle of fanta either but instead in the form of an ice cold shower which was in normal circumstances would've been most peoples gripe but for me, it was perfect!

The shower room consisted of a sink, toilet, hole in the ground and shower which posed a problem the second the soap shot out of my hand and straight down the toilet. "Why didn't you put the seat down?" I hear you say, well if you do that, the seat gets wet, and nobody wants to get a wet bum do they. After getting air dried I then proceeded to squat over the hole in the ground. It appears my body is now training itself to go for number 2's when the repercussions are at a minimum. I squatted there for a couple of minutes and then realised, less than a metre away from nose, the very thing I have just had my arm down to fish out a bar of soap, stood a perfectly good, perfectly acceptable, sit down toilet. That's the moment I realised that I've been away too long!

I got changed into less dirty clothes and went for a walk to find some food. Qena is shifty. The people seem shifty, one kid in particular seemed shifty so kept hiding behind lamp posts and caught him every time he looked back, this consequently made me look shifty so all in all the place is shifty. It appeared I may catch some tourist attractions on the way out towards Luxor so my walk consisted of two quick chicken kebabs and some junk food for the room. Then get back and see what's on the 3 fuzzy Arabic channels that I have to choose from and chill out.

I took a slight detour back to the hotel to see if there was anything interesting about but there was nothing. A lot of kids and a lot of flats. Beyonce clearly hadn't been to Qena before she described New York as a concrete jungle. At least New York has some glass and colour! Qena has as much character as a breeze block! I got back to the room, made myself some sandwiches and sat back and relaxed to Russia vs Azerbaijan. Bliss!

A different day to say the least. Everything ending up alright and now I only have a short ride to meet some more Egyptian friends in Luxor which I am now REALLY looking forward too! Fair play to the police today as well. I cant speak for how they help the locals but as far as I'M concerned, they had a laugh, they followed a hairy grub on a bike for around 3 hours and they sorted me out with a safe looking place to stay. Cheers boys.